The Absent-Minded Tiger Prof

There was an absent-minded prof,
A tiger of Skidoodle,
Who taught a tiger jungle school
And thought things with his noodle.

So absent-minded was the prof,
He caused no end of worry.
He'd even leave his tail behind
When he was in a hurry.

And once (you'll hardly credit this)
When he was feeling merry,
He ate some water from a pool
And drank a missionary.

But listen while I tell you of
The tiger's greatest dramma--
For absent-minded stunts it wins,
The tailored fur pajama.

One day, when pangs of hunger came,
As in his lair he brooded,
He saw a leg and tail with stripes,
And wondered who'd intruded.

Quite absent-mindedly he bit,
And soon the bite repeating,
He ate a hearty meal, nor guessed
His own self he was eating.

He howled with pain between each bite,
Which naturally piqued him,
Because he never liked to eat
The noisy type of victum.

But still he ate and ate and ate--
In spite of howls abusive--
Until he had consumed himself
From tail to neck, inclusive.

But when he came upon his face--
He paused in consternation.
"I've seen that face before," he said.
"I've eaten a relation."

Then guiltily, so sure that he'd
Of some close kin bereft it,
He hid his face behind a rock,
And walked away and left it.

--Author: LeRoy W. Snell
--Source: OCR scan of a copy of text typed on a manual typewriter by LeRoy Behling (with some minor corrections for OCR and typing errors and to clean up the formatting)